Hello, beautiful world changers!! Why “soul mates and singleness”? Well, let’s be honest, people, our culture is obsessed with love. We all love love, amen? We are told to risk everything to have that “perfect love”, and there’s a lot of pressure to find that love at a young age. I feel, as a high school student, there is an expectation to have a boyfriend or to “find” someone. Singleness is complained about all the time, and there is also a lot of emphasis put on the idea of “soulmates.”
A quick word about my opinion on “soulmates”…and I know that mine is not popular, but honestly, I don’t believe in the idea of everyone having a soul mate. I really don’t. And if you disagree, before you freak out, let me explain. If you look at the urban dictionary’s definition of “soulmate”, it focuses on perfection and finding true love in only one person who is carried with you forever, one who makes you your true self or inspires you to be a better person. So if I follow this thinking, a “soulmate” is the one person who can make me truly the most “me”? Is a human responsible for making me the whole person God created me to be? What if I just thought he was my soulmate but I was wrong…can I never now be “me” with anyone else? I just disagree with that. I don’t believe that perfect love can come from a person, period. Perfect love requires perfection, but we are humans, and definitely not perfect. However, God is Love. God is perfect. God’s love for us is therefore perfect…so perfect that He died for us to be with Him forever. Yes, we need community and there will be many people we love and carry with us forever, as there will be many people whom God uses to inspire us, but I believe that what our souls are longing for is God’s love. Our God is a jealous God and does not want anyone to captivate our souls in a way that only He should. The way I see it, the true and perfect love of a soulmate is found in God alone. I understand that my opinion may not be right or popular, but it’s what I believe after my studying and praying. You are entitled to believe whatever you choose about soulmates!
Now, onto Singleness…It can be hard learning to be content in singleness while living with this idea of high school romance. (Where is Troy Bolton when we need him, right?) Sometimes it’s hard to be content in our current situation when it seems like everyone who is dating someone is happy, or at least is doing what is “normal” for kids our age. However, three things that the Lord has really taught me are that 1) there is a purpose in every season, 2) there is an opportunity in every season to glorify Him, and 3) happiness depending on a person is never genuine happiness.
I’ve learned that there is a purpose in my singleness, and more importantly, I’ve learned not to settle for something that I don’t deserve solely because I want a relationship or am expected to be in a relationship or just because I like someone who also likes me. (Trust me, I have done that before, and it is NOT worth it!) The purpose of singleness is that the Lord is preparing my heart to be ready to love someone with the qualities I seek, and to be someone with these same qualities. The Lord is not only preparing me to be the full godly woman that I can be, but I know that He is also preparing the heart of another to be the full godly man that he can be. I have learned a purpose in waiting, because I know that when love comes together in the Lord’s time, on the Lord’s terms, then it is right.
While trusting God to work and while working to become the woman that the man I hope to one day find actually wants to find, (got that, haha?) I am choosing to praise God for this season, for He is no less amazing and awesome, and He still gives so many incredible blessings even when one of them isn’t a romance. I have a close family that He gave me, I have amazing friends that he gave me, I have a Bible-teaching church where I can learn about Him and worship Him, if I take the time, I can see breathtaking sunrises and sunsets every single day, I am healthy and can use what He has given me to serve and help others. There are opportunities every day to glorify my God, no matter my relationship status!!
Third, as Christians we have joy that lasts beyond the “happiness” of a relationship, whether that’s a specific relationship just being in one. I encourage you to spend some time with the Lord, and if you are struggling in your singleness, or if you are in a relationship that isn’t pushing you toward Christ, talk to Him about it, and to ask Him the purpose of it. Just take your doubts, your fears, and your worries to Him and wrestle if you need to do that. Our ability to live joyfully cannot be tied to a relationship or to any person. Even if the relationship lasts, People will fail; and relying on one person to make you happy, or to make you “yourself” is not a great expectation. Let Him show you who He is, and let Him remind of you of your value in Him, because that is big stuff. Through Him, you are PRICELESS!! When you come to remember or recognize that value, that is what will bring you true and lasting joy.
I encourage y’all to keep running your race, eyes focused on the Lord, and one day, you will very likely look over, and there will be someone running right next to you…that’s the best kind of relationship, the kind where God brings two people together, with His timing, on His terms, and with Him as the common interest and common end game. Isn’t this what we all want?!? Keep running, keep trusting, keep working toward a powerful, breath-taking relationship with Him, the one who chooses you enough to DIE for you!!! HE LOVES YOU THAT MUCH!! I encourage y’all to fall more and more and more in love with the Lord first, and more and more aware of your value, and then you will be able to fully love someone else, the someone else whom God has specifically planned for YOU! I pray that y’all know that y’all are so so, so valued and y’all are children of God, chosen sons or daughters of the most high King. God has someone out there for you. I pray that y’all take all of this to heart, and that you live expectant in God’s plan for your life, and that you know that He is fighting for you. He has hemmed you before and behind. He has already gone ahead and made a way, and He will show you that way! YOU ARE SO LOVED! You are so worth it. Go to Him! Talk to him! He’s got you in the palm of His hand, and He has only the best in store for you!!!
So sweet friends, that is my “soulmates and singleness” blog! My song for this blog is Priceless by For King and Country to remind y’all that you are SO priceless to God!! Thank you for reading, and don’t forget to guard your heart while you also run your race.
Love y’all so much!!
ps. also my new friend from england named joel would like to tell y’all to stop looking for your “solution” and pursue Jesus first.