I haven’t had an anxiety attack like I had 3 weeks ago in at least 4 years. All of a sudden my stress compounded, and I felt like I was right back to living in fear. Fear of the future, fear of what triggered this, fear of falling down in a spiral. Fear. My mind went to every possible place it could have gone, my limbs went numb, and I was absolutely paralyzed with fear. I hated myself for letting my heart get to this place in my life. I tried talking to God, but I just felt like He wasn’t there (even though I knew very well that He was). So I sat in my own stress and tried to think of ways that I could fix this on my own, without help from anyone…let me give you the cliff notes version of that week…not possible. We are not strong enough to fend off the devil’s attacks on our own. The keywords there are “on our own,” and spoiler alert: God is. God is strong enough. So I deleted social media and took some time to really put on the full armor of God and learn how to fend off these attacks with Him. So I was on this break and spending A LOT of time with the Lord, right, and I hit a wall with God, and it was my fear holding me back from claiming His victory. My fear of the future. My fear of anxiety. I was so scared, y’all. I was scared of my anxiety, petrified that of how I was going to stop it and terrified that it was never going to go away. I hear a lot of people say that it is impossible for anxiety to go away, but if I’m speaking in complete and total honesty, I don’t think those people really know who Our God is. Nothing is impossible with Him. So anyway, I was so scared, but God stilled my soul with this beautiful verse and translation of John 14:27 that I found, which so beautifully states,
“I leave the gift of peace with you–my peace. Not the fragile and temporary peace given to you by the world but my perfect peace. Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your heart, instead be courageous” John 14:27 TPT
Peace. His peace. His perfect peace. His calm peace. That’s what we grab ahold to in our trials, what we cling to in our turbulence. The peace of God, the peace in knowing that we are victorious, that our battle has already been won, that we have an eternal reward and an eternal home with Our Maker. It’s that peace. Comforting peace, the wave of peace that holds you when you’re shaking, that reminds you of your worth when you feel like nothing, it’s the only thing you can feel when your brain is shutting off, and your body is numb. Calming peace, the beautiful sense of peace that we have, knowing that He is there, the peace in knowing that He is holding you, and the peace in knowing that He’s protecting you. It’s knowing that He has the power to still your storm at any moment, but that even if He doesn’t, knowing that your house is built on solid rock and can weather any storm. I want y’all to take captive this truth like I did, take ahold of His perfect peace! Yes, there are still things to be anxious about, but I know that I am victorious. I know that God is with me. I know that no matter what brokenness or hurt I feel, God will wholeheartedly restore me. I am taking hold of this perfect peace that He has given us and trusting in His plan and in who He is because He is perfect. And I want y’all to do the same! Take hold of Him and trust in Who He is because He is fighting for you!
So during the entire month of September, I am going to be posting a blog every other day from here on out with two things that I learned during my time of putting on the armor of God and a song to go with those two things! Today’s two things were fighting anxiety and peace. And today’s song is King of My Heart by Steffany Gretzinger and Bethel Music, this beautiful song reminds us that God should always be the One we turn to in the storms of life and that He is always good.
Oh, sweet, beautiful souls, I pray that today you take captive Gods peace, live in the center in His will and that you know how loved you are. Oh, sweet souls, you are so priceless, and I will talk to y’all soon!